Reload

I am more pissed-off than ever. Things have been going great. My predictions and worries were proven to be unfounded. Why? I graduated college and found a job. My speculations were solely on not finding 'the' job after college. There are many undesirable jobs awaiting undergrads after college, such as the ones where you have no set salary and work purely on commission basis. Largely in sales, these jobs offer no guarantee of steady income and most likely are not offered by type-A type companies and mind you, banks. Well I was hired by a type A-type private bank that offered me a stellar job that I am proud to gain experience in. Other fronts of progress involve my social life; though stable with my friends I was able to get myself a girlfriend. A month and a half after being hired I hooked up with a girl who was very presentable, pretty and had very desirable physical attributes. I am shallow, I conceded to that a long time ago. My girlfriend had a very pretty face, big boobs and a bubble butt worth playing with at any given time. Things took off fast for us and we were fucking and sucking within two weeks of our initial encounter. Just to disprove the feeling of me being such a stud; I have had known this girl for two years prior, but her long term boyfriend was in the way. Mind you; he cheated on her numerous times, used illicit substances and finally withdrew himself from her life by the way of joining the armed forces. After such a package, I was a real find or not as it proved in the mid-run.
The sex was sub-par. Though many things were allowed; oral sex, sex and hand jobs were fun. I found the girl to be not so kinky; no dirty talk and anal sex was taboo. Though the highlight of my sexual relationship with her culminated during insertion of my fingers in her butt, something that she never done before. To further disprove my stud-ness; she has confessed to me that she was very horny when I had hooked up with her. Thus this further proves the fact that I can't seduce a girl unless she is already willing to be going at it. The relationship side of things was the breaking point. After an initial period of 2 months, the girl started showing her real character; telling me to do things that would minimize me as a man and what not. I could not deal with such crap and had to minimize the impact of break up before it would get worse. Well by Thanksgiving we broke up and did not revisit each other in that same way again. I am sure if she can reconsider herself - things can work out, but unfortunately last time I seen her she was with her ex-boyfriend again. How much does that makes sense? I learned a thing or two from that. First; girls that tell you they were treated like shit by their ex-boyfriends - want to be treated like shit. Enfact; if you out-shit her ex-'s you will get a lot more candy. Which leads to point two; everything they say; turn it other way around.
No sex since last thanksgiving for me. And it is not fine. I am horny more than ever. I jerk off a lot and thats not fine. A new girlfriend would fix that, but I have had no luck in that department since that 3 month girlfriend from last year. There was a girl that became available that I really like and she is still available. I have made an attempt in March to start a relationship, but it has been a disaster ever since. Besides a couple of dates and phone conversations the girl seems to be emotionally distant from me and constantly disappears from the planet earth. No phone calls or text messages can reach her in these moments and after a two week interim she would text back apologizing for her disappearance. From what I see; it is a clear sign of emotional distance and just carelessness for me. I stopped trying. Though she has reappeared a week ago, I had not called her once since then and will not call her until I see some kind of signal of her true desire to have a normal relationship. My last girlfriend had told me she was broken and had things to repair from her past relationships, I guess her ex- is doing just that with her now. This girl I was pursuing now had broken off from a long term relationship as well, but suffers no symptoms of damage. I am currently apathetic to her. I am seeking a girlfriend.
I am not ugly anymore. - That I am proud of! Since January I have been developing my body and working out at least twice a week for a great result. My skinny athletic body is shaping to become a rounded and built body. People are noticing, but all that progress took a lot of effort. In sum; through blood, sweat and tears.
This was my summary of my ugly, horny and pissed-off aspects of my life. I am hoping that there will be more disturbing progress in my life that I can write about - and write I shall!

- John Bogusz [anonymous]